Sadness and Depression

Sadness and depression are described as feelings of sorrow, unhappiness, and grief, and they are a normal part of our experience here on earth. Sadness and depression can come through difficulties resulting from rejection, interpersonal relationships, disappointments, and other pains. They are difficult, yet essential, elements in our growth. Elder Bruce C. Hafen taught that Heavenly Father meant for us to have painful experiences in our lives so we could ultimately experience joy more fully (see “A Willingness to Learn from Pain,” Ensign, Oct. 1983, 64, 66).

"Major depressive disorder, or severe depression, is different. It is an emotional state or condition that affects our thinking, emotions, perceptions, and behaviors. Major depressive disorder can occur without a clear explanation for its cause, or it can result from unhealthy reactions to painful events. When we experience severe depression, we often feel numb or deadened to our emotions. We may have feelings of shame, self-blame, or self-hatred, all of which are likely to interfere with how we function every day. Severe depression also interferes with our ability to deal positively with challenges as they arise." https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/emotional-resilience-for-self-reliance/5-understanding-sadness-and-depression/5-learn?lang=eng

“Grief is hard no matter the loss, and I do not minimize anyone’s pain, but suicide is a grief all its own. No matter how you try, you can’t hide from the monster web of emotions, the tangled knot of questions. It can’t be avoided, downplayed, or minimized. It knocks the wind, and sometimes even the faith, out of the strongest of God’s disciples. Latter-day Saints know the great plan of happiness. We believe in the power of the priesthood and the grace of the Atonement. But no matter what our faith has taught us, we still hurt. The plan of happiness doesn’t stop us from experiencing deep loss or grief while in mortality, but some falsely believe that grief won’t be as deep because we have the plan.”  –Ganel-Lyn Condie https://www.ldsliving.com/4-lessons-of-hope-i-learned-from-my-sisters-suicide/s/78249  

“Like any part of the body, the brain is subject to illnesses, trauma, and chemical imbalances. When our minds are suffering, it is appropriate to seek help from God, from those around us, and from medical and mental health professionals...It is normal to feel sad or worried once in a while. Sadness and anxiety are natural human emotions. However, if we are constantly sad and if our pain blocks our ability to feel the love of our Heavenly Father and His Son and the influence of the Holy Ghost, then we may be suffering from depression, anxiety, or another emotional condition.” -Reyna Aburto “Thru Cloud and Sunshine, Lord, Abide with Me!” November 2019.

He Understands Perfectly Our Sorrows

"He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief...Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed."  Isaiah 53:3-5

"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities."  Alma 7:11-13

"Perhaps more than any other time, when we are hurting, we need to feel the arms of the Good Shepherd around us. We need to know that He loves us and understands our pain. He wept with Mary and Martha at the tomb of Lazarus (see John 11:35), and He weeps with each of us when we weep. He knows the 'sorrowing sighing' (Psalm 102:20) of our hearts, and He is there to succor us and bind up our wounds." -Jeffrey R. Holland, "Broken Things to Mend," April 2006

“It will comfort us when we must wait in distress for the Savior’s promised relief that He knows, from experience, how to heal and help us. … And faith in that power will give us patience as we pray and work and wait for help. He could have known how to succor us simply by revelation, but He chose to learn by His own personal experience.” -Henry B. Eyring "Adversity," April 2009

Self-Care

Self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity for healing. Small daily acts of kindness to yourself can make a difference in moments of deep distress. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate this difficult journey. 

“Seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles. Prayerfully and responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they prescribe. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation." Jeffrey R. Holland, "Like a Broken Vessel", November 2013.

More Self-Care Ideas 

Discussion

• How does sadness feel in your body and mind since your loss? Is it a constant feeling or does it come in waves? 

• Are there specific situations or memories that intensify your sadness? 

• How can we find hope and strength in knowing that the Savior experienced all forms of suffering, including ours?