Shock and Denial

"Most people pass through five emotional stages when they grieve: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and adjustment. These can occur in any order, and some may be skipped or may be repeated more than once.  Denial is typically the first stage of grief. Individuals experiencing denial may deny what has happened, go numb, or experience shock." https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/counseling-resources/grief-and-loss 

"If the death of a loved one comes suddenly or unexpectedly, the immediate reaction is usually one of disbelief: “It can’t be true; you must be mistaken,” or “Are you sure?” These common reactions are accompanied by a numbing effect, during which time the person does not fully comprehend the impact that this loss will have upon their life." https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/ensign/1972/10/alone-through-death 

Shock and denial are natural responses to intense grief. You might hear yourself say, “This can’t be happening,” or “I keep expecting them to walk through the door.” 

What shock and denial might feel like for you:

• A fog settling over you

• The world has stopped

• Numbness, as if you’re watching life from outside yourself

• Wondering if something is wrong with you for not crying or feeling “enough”

• Being overwhelmed by even simple tasks

These are normal reactions, not signs of weakness or spiritual failure. 

In the initial stages of loss, the goal is not to “fix” your grief, but to gently steady yourself amid waves of intense emotions. This is a journey of healing—one that calls for patience with yourself, support from others, and reliance on heavenly powers.

Self-Care

Self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity for healing. Small daily acts of kindness to yourself can make a difference in moments of deep distress. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate this difficult journey. 

Keep a journal. Express your emotions through writing them down. Write about hard things. Make notes of the tender mercies you receive and the hand of the Lord in your life. Write about what you are grateful for. 

More Self-Care Ideas 

Discussion

• When you first learned of your loss, what did your body or mind do to protect you? 

• Are there scriptures or spiritual truths that have helped you feel anchored during your early grief?

• In what ways has God felt near—or far—during this season?