Embedded Files
According to the American Psychological Association (APA),
Fear is an intense, immediate, and typically short-lived emotional response to a present and identifiable threat or danger.
Anxiety is a prolonged feeling of unease, apprehension, or dread about a future, anticipated, or uncertain threat or negative event. It's often related to worries about what might happen. https://dictionary.apa.org/fear https://dictionary.apa.org/anxiety
Losing our loved one to suicide is a profound shock to a our entire system; it can shatter our sense of safety and predictability, making us susceptible to intense and prolonged anxiety. Here's why and how we can feel anxiety.
Shattered Sense of Safety and Control: We may feel that if such a terrible thing could happen, anything could happen, leading us to a state of uneasiness and vulnerability.
Hyper vigilance: Because our "danger radar" has been activated in such a shocking way, we may constantly scan our environment for potential threats. This can manifest as anxiety about noise, crowds, specific locations, or anything that reminds us of the trauma.
Intrusive Thoughts: Anxiety can be triggered by images, smells, and sounds related to the traumatic event. These "flashbacks" can feel real and lead to physical responses such as a racing heart and shortness of breath. Our mind may obsessively replay the events surrounding the death. We may repeatedly speculate on "what if" scenarios, trying to find meaning, leading to chronic worry.
Fear for Other Loved Ones' Safety: Having experienced such a devastating loss, there's often a heightened fear that similar tragedies will strike other family members or friends. This can lead to constant worry about their safety, excessive calling or texting, or difficulty letting them out of sight.
Fear of Abandonment: The trauma of being "left behind" can fuel anxiety about future abandonment.
Physical Symptoms: The body's "fight or flight" system can remain activated, leading to muscle tension (neck, shoulders, jaw), restlessness and an inability to relax, fatigue from constant tension, heart palpitations or chest tightness, shortness of breath, digestive issues, headaches or migraines, difficulty falling or staying asleep, and nightmares.
Social Avoidance: We may feel anxious in social settings, fearing awkward conversations about our loss, judgment, or simply being overwhelmed by sensory input. We might avoid places, people, or activities associated with the loss or with the outside world.
Coping
Coping
"Both our anxiety and our fear need to be understood and respected, perhaps even befriended. We need to pull up a chair and sit with them, understand why they're showing up, and ask ourselves what there is to learn. Dismissing fear and anxiety is not useful to our quest for connection and is as dangerous as choosing to live in constant fear and anxiety." -Brené Brown, Atlas of the Heart, page 13.
"There is evidence that music can help reduce anxiety and stress. When you are feeling stressed or discouraged, sing to yourself or listen to a favorite piece of music. 'Hymns [and other uplifting music] can lift our spirits, give us courage, and move us to righteous action. They can fill our souls with heavenly thoughts and bring us a spirit of peace.'” (“First Presidency Preface to Hymns,” Hymns, 1985, x). https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/emotional-resilience-for-self-reliance/4-managing-stress-and-anxiety/4-resources
"As President M. Russell Ballard counseled: “Prayer can change our own lives. Motivated by sincere prayer, we can improve and help others to do the same. Because of anxiety, I have relied on prayer a lot, and this has helped me deepen both my relationship with Heavenly Father and my faith that He hears all prayers. My prayers have truly become more meaningful over time as I’ve dealt with this challenge and relied on Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father for help. I talk to Heavenly Father about my feelings, my day, my worries—anything, really. Even if He doesn’t take the anxious thoughts and feelings away, when I turn to Him for help, I feel like His hand is on my shoulder and He reassures me that He is with me. He helps me know that I am His and that I’m not alone." https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2024/03/digital-only-young-adults/anxiety-making-you-feel-isolated-these-3-tips-can-help
"When I recognize how the Savior has helped me, I’m able to feel a sense of belonging and the assurance that I am known. My struggle with anxiety motivates me to seek out the comforting presence of the Spirit, and because of this, I’m always engaging with small and simple spiritual habits every day to draw Christ’s power into my life. Having faith in His grace and sacrifice truly is the greatest key I need to tackle all of life’s hardships and challenges. As He taught, “I am the light of the world”, which, to me, means no darkness we experience can smother His light." https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/liahona/2024/03/digital-only-young-adults/anxiety-making-you-feel-isolated-these-3-tips-can-help
Self-Care
Self-Care
Self-care is not a luxury, but a necessity for healing. Small daily acts of kindness to yourself can make a difference in moments of deep distress. Be patient and compassionate with yourself as you navigate this difficult journey.
“Seek the advice of reputable people with certified training, professional skills, and good values. Be honest with them about your history and your struggles. Prayerfully and responsibly consider the counsel they give and the solutions they prescribe. Our Father in Heaven expects us to use all the marvelous gifts He has provided in this glorious dispensation." Jeffrey R. Holland, "Like a Broken Vessel", November 2013.
Discussion Questions
Discussion Questions
How has anxiety shown up in your grief journey since experiencing loss?
What specific fears or worries have intensified after your loved one’s passing?
What are some strategies that have helped you manage anxious thoughts and feelings?
Page updated
Google Sites
Report abuse