In our support group, we discuss common emotions we experience in our grief. We understand that everyone's grief is unique and our emotions may occur in different orders or with varying degrees of intensity and there is no "right" or "wrong" way to feel.
Sadness and depression are described as feelings of sorrow, unhappiness, and grief, and they are a normal part of our experience here on earth. Sadness and depression can come through difficulties resulting from rejection, interpersonal relationships, disappointments, and other pains. They are difficult, yet essential, elements in our growth. Elder Bruce C. Hafen taught that Heavenly Father meant for us to have painful experiences in our lives so we could ultimately experience joy more fully (see “A Willingness to Learn from Pain,” Ensign, Oct. 1983, 64, 66).
Major depressive disorder, or severe depression, is different. It is an emotional state or condition that affects our thinking, emotions, perceptions, and behaviors. Major depressive disorder can occur without a clear explanation for its cause, or it can result from unhealthy reactions to painful events. When we experience severe depression, we often feel numb or deadened to our emotions. We may have feelings of shame, self-blame, or self-hatred, all of which are likely to interfere with how we function every day. Severe depression also interferes with our ability to deal positively with challenges as they arise. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/emotional-resilience-for-self-reliance/5-understanding-sadness-and-depression/5-learn?lang=eng
“Grief is hard no matter the loss, and I do not minimize anyone’s pain, but suicide is a grief all its own. No matter how you try, you can’t hide from the monster web of emotions, the tangled knot of questions. It can’t be avoided, downplayed, or minimized. It knocks the wind, and sometimes even the faith, out of the strongest of God’s disciples. Latter-day Saints know the great plan of happiness. We believe in the power of the priesthood and the grace of the Atonement. But no matter what our faith has taught us, we still hurt. The plan of happiness doesn’t stop us from experiencing deep loss or grief while in mortality, but some falsely believe that grief won’t be as deep because we have the plan.” –Ganel-Lyn Condie https://www.ldsliving.com/4-lessons-of-hope-i-learned-from-my-sisters-suicide/s/78249
How does sadness feel in your body and mind since your loss? Is it a constant feeling or does it come in waves?
Are there specific situations or memories that intensify your sadness?
How does sadness feel in your body and mind since your loss? Is it a constant feeling or does it come in waves?
"He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief...Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed." Isaiah 53:3-5
"And he shall go forth, suffering pains and afflictions and temptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will take upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him death, that he may loose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to succor his people according to their infirmities." Alma 7:11-13
"And he cometh into the world that he may save all men if they will hearken unto his voice; for behold, he suffereth the pains of all men, yea, the pains of every living creature, both men, women, and children, who belong to the family of Adam." 2 Nephi 9:21
"He descended below all things, in that he comprehended all things, that he might be in all and through all things, the light of truth; Which truth abideth, and is in God, as also in man." Doctrine and Covenants 88:6
"Perhaps more than any other time, when we are hurting, we need to feel the arms of the Good Shepherd around us. We need to know that He loves us and understands our pain. He wept with Mary and Martha at the tomb of Lazarus (see John 11:35), and He weeps with each of us when we weep. He knows the 'sorrowing sighing' (Psalm 102:20) of our hearts, and He is there to succor us and bind up our wounds." -Jeffrey R. Holland, "Broken Things to Mend," April 2006
“Because Jesus walked such a long, lonely path utterly alone, we do not have to.” -Jeffrey R. Holland, "None Were with Him," April 2009
“It will comfort us when we must wait in distress for the Savior’s promised relief that He knows, from experience, how to heal and help us. … And faith in that power will give us patience as we pray and work and wait for help. He could have known how to succor us simply by revelation, but He chose to learn by His own personal experience.” -Henry B. Eyring "Adversity," April 2009
"There is no physical pain, no spiritual wound, no anguish of soul or heartache that He did not first experience. He can lift us up, heal us, and strengthen us to endure so that we can live again with God our Father and His Son Jesus Christ." -Neil L. Andersen, "Wounded," November 2018
"It is in these darkest of times that we must remember that we have a Savior who suffered not only for our sins but also for our sorrows, our grief, and our pain. He understands perfectly what we are going through, and He stands ready to succor and strengthen us." -Ulisses Soares, "Jesus Christ: The Caregiver of Our Souls," Ensign or Liahona, May 2021
“Like any part of the body, the brain is subject to illnesses, trauma, and chemical imbalances. When our minds are suffering, it is appropriate to seek help from God, from those around us, and from medical and mental health professionals...It is normal to feel sad or worried once in a while. Sadness and anxiety are natural human emotions. However, if we are constantly sad and if our pain blocks our ability to feel the love of our Heavenly Father and His Son and the influence of the Holy Ghost, then we may be suffering from depression, anxiety, or another emotional condition.” -Reyna Aburto “Thru Cloud and Sunshine, Lord, Abide with Me!” November 2019.
How does is feel to be fully known by Jesus Christ?
How can we find hope and strength in knowing that the Savior experienced all forms of suffering, including ours?
Keep a journal. Express your emotions through writing them down. Write about hard things. Make notes of the tender mercies you receive and the hand of the Lord in your life. Write about what you are grateful for.
What would it look like to let Christ into your pain?
What part of your story needs His compassion?
What does it feel like to know the Savior has experienced the depths of your pain and understands you perfectly?