Sadness - He Knows Our Pain

Emotions

In our support group, we discuss common emotions experienced by those who grieve the loss of a loved one to suicide or mental illness. Keep in mind that not everyone will experience these emotions, and they may occur in different orders or with varying degrees of intensity. We may experience a mix of seemingly contradictory feelings simultaneously (i.e. sadness and joy). Strong emotions are a normal part of the grieving process, and there is no "right" or "wrong" way to feel. 

Sadness and Depression

Sadness and depression are described as feelings of sorrow, unhappiness, and grief, and they are a normal part of our experience here on earth. Sadness and depression can come through difficulties resulting from rejection, interpersonal relationships, disappointments, and other pains. They are difficult, yet essential, elements in our growth. Elder Bruce C. Hafen taught that Heavenly Father meant for us to have painful experiences in our lives so we could ultimately experience joy more fully (see “A Willingness to Learn from Pain,” Ensign, Oct. 1983, 64, 66).

Major depressive disorder, or severe depression, is different. It is an emotional state or condition that affects our thinking, emotions, perceptions, and behaviors. Major depressive disorder can occur without a clear explanation for its cause, or it can result from unhealthy reactions to painful events. When we experience severe depression, we often feel numb or deadened to our emotions. We may have feelings of shame, self-blame, or self-hatred, all of which are likely to interfere with how we function every day. Severe depression also interferes with our ability to deal positively with challenges as they arise. https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/manual/emotional-resilience-for-self-reliance/5-understanding-sadness-and-depression/5-learn?lang=eng

“Like any part of the body, the brain is subject to illnesses, trauma, and chemical imbalances. When our minds are suffering, it is appropriate to seek help from God, from those around us, and from medical and mental health professionals...It is normal to feel sad or worried once in a while. Sadness and anxiety are natural human emotions. However, if we are constantly sad and if our pain blocks our ability to feel the love of our Heavenly Father and His Son and the influence of the Holy Ghost, then we may be suffering from depression, anxiety, or another emotional condition.” -Reyna Aburto “Thru Cloud and Sunshine, Lord, Abide with Me!” November 2019.

Discussion

• How have these emotions evolved since your loss?

• Are there specific situations or memories that intensify your sadness or depression? 

• How do you respond to these emotions?